I do these for every WWE wrestling event on the WWE Network. Battleground is this Sunday. So I present to you my previw of each match from Battleground, using Nursery Rhymes.
Pre-Show: Naomi vs. Cameron
Greatest WWE Break-up, well there is the Rockers, you know.
When Shawn Michaels threw Marty Jannetty through the window.
I can watch tag teams break up for many hours.
Like when Randy Savage attacked Hulk Hogan to break up the Mega Powers.
But I have to say that the break up that shocks me most of all.
The Funkadactyl’s break up would have to be my call.
Now we will see these two former friends fight on the pre-show.
When Cameron and Naomi go toe to toe.
Jack Swagger vs. Rusev
All Real Americans play your part.
Please rise and put your hand over your heart.
And in loud clear voice, say along with us.
WE THE PEOPLE, do it loud that’s a plus.
But I guess Lana has something to say.
Shut-up, Shut-up, Rusev losing, no way.
Who’s more over, Rusev and Jack Swagger?
Or their managers, Lana and Zeb Colter?
Can a Real American pick up the win?
Or will it be the man who loves Vladimir Putin.
Intercontinental Battleground Battle Royal
The Intercontinental Champion, Wade Barrett no longer is.
Maybe the new champion will be the Miz?
Can Titus O’Neil make the Intercontinental title his?
Xavier Woods is working on a PhD is he some kind of wiz.
Can Bo Dallas make you a Boliever?
Is it time for the Intercontinental Champion to be Zack Ryder?
Is winning the gold in the cards for Dolph Ziggler?
Or for the last member left of 3MB in Heath Slater?
Maybe it can be former WWE Champion Alberto Del Rio?
Will the crowd be dancing and singing when it is Fandango?
Can we see the King of Swing win it in Cesaro?
A Los Matadores is in it, the one named Diego.
Will it be Mr. Monday Night, R-V-D?
Or will it be reclaimed by former champ, Big E.?
How about a 7-footer named Great Khali?
Will we see a 5-time champion in Kofi?
Will Sin Cara or R-Truth be the one to win this battle?
Or will it be someone from the tag team Rybaxel?
Can United States Champion Sheamus win another title?
Who will win the Intercontinental Battleground Battle Royal?
Divas Champion AJ Lee vs. Paige
And Paige you’ll see.
In a match at Battleground.
You win, you hold.
Whose waist will it be around?
Beat Paige, you say.
But Paige beat AJ before.
Who takes the fall?
Can Paige stand tall?
Or will AJ Lee win once more?
2-Out-Of-3-Falls: WWE Tag Team Champions the Usos vs. the Wyatt Family
Battleground is very near.
Money in the Bank rematch, we’ve got here.
These two teams are both really tough.
So winning once is not enough.
No, two times is better, you see.
For the Usos vs. the Wyatt Family.
Last month, the winners were the Usos.
2 out of 3 falls, who knows how that goes?
How many falls will there be?
Will it be one, two or three?
Dean Ambrose vs. Seth Rollins
Ok so here it goes.
Seth Rollins vs. Dean Ambrose.
Both part of Shield before.
But not anymore.
Seth Rollins tuned on his former friend.
But Ambrose says this is not the end.
Revenge is what he wants.
A briefcase, Seth Rollins flaunts.
At Money in the Bank is where he won it.
But Dean Ambrose will not quit.
To make sure Seth Rollins never cashes in.
Does Dean Ambrose even care about the win?
Or just making Seth Rollins’ life miserable.
One thing is for certain, this match will be brutal.
Chris Jericho vs. Bray Wyatt
He’s got the whole world in his hands.
Taking out Jericho, where he stands.
He goes by the name of Bray Wyatt.
Sing this rhyme, go on and try it.
Can Bray make Jericho’s career come to an end?
Chris Jericho says hey wait a minute their friend.
I didn’t come back to lose and then be all done.
The loser, Bray will be the one.
But Bray Wyatt has got his family.
The winner is what Bray thinks he will be.
Maybe Jericho wants to stick around.
They will face off at Battleground.
WWE World Heavyweight Champion John Cena vs. Roman Reigns vs. Kane vs. Randy Orton
John Cena has won a World Champion, 15 times, in the WWE.
That’s the most one man has won in WWE History.
The Authority wants his reign at Battleground to be done.
They want the new WWE World Heavyweight Champion to be Randy Orton.
Or perhaps they prefer the face of the WWE to be Kane’s.
But there is always a chance it could be Roman Reigns.
When John Cena hits the Attitude Adjustment, the end is near.
The same can be said when Roman Reigns hits a Superman Punch and Spear.
Kane hits the chokeslam and he’s champion at the end of the show.
Randy Orton can always win, when he hits the RKO.
So who will be the WWE World Heavyweight Champion at the end of the day?
When John Cena, Randy Orton, Kane and Roman Reigns fight in Fatal 4-Way.