Posted by Jack Patterson
Folks, it’s time. It is the moment wrestling fans wait all year for. It is time for the Showcase of the Immortals. The Entertainment Spectacular. It is time for WrestleMania. This year showcases one of the largest ‘Mania cards in recent memory, and we are only 3…count it 3 days away from the WWE invading MetLife Stadium and tearing the house down in the process. The weather looks to be a non-issue, the forecast for CBS 2 in New York calls for Mid 50′s for the high and lows in the Mid 40′s under mostly cloudy skies. So with that out of the way, here are the best predictions in the land, the Jack Attack’s “Predictions You Can Take To The Bank!”
WrestleMania 29 Pre-Show
Wade Barrett (c) vs. The Miz
This rivalry started over the fact that the Miz gave Wade Barrett grief over the fact that he had a minor (and do I ever mean minor) role in WWE Studios’ film “Dead Man Down,” which debuted a little less than a month ago. Miz actually continuously compared that to his role, starring in “Marine 3: Homefront.” I honestly think this match deserves to be on the main card ala Sheamus/Daniel Bryan at WM 27. Both Barrett and Miz have revamped their characters and it works for them. I especially like how Miz has developed his repetoire with the addition of the Figure Four Leg Lock and I think a push maybe in store soon.
Winner and New IC Champ: The Miz
8-person Mixed Tag Match
Tons of Funk (Brodus Clay and “Sweet T” Tensai) and the Funkadactyls (Cameron and Naomi) vs Team Rhodes Scholars (Cody Rhodes and Damien Sandow) and The Bella Twins (Brie and Nikki)
I think this will be one of those matches that leads into one of the headline matches…I think this is just a way to:
- Get Rhodes and Sandow, who have both done well this year, into WrestleMania
- Get the returning Bella Twins on to WM
It’s really a luck of the draw that Sandow/Rhodes just so happened to be feuding with Clay/Tensai, and the Funkadactyls provide opponents for the Bellas.
Winners: Tons of Funk/Funkadactyls (you really think they are going under?)
WWE Tag Team Championship
Team Hell No (Kane and Daniel Bryan) (c) vs Dolph Ziggler and Big E Langston w/AJ Lee
Ladies and Gentleman, this match is going to go one of two ways:
- 1. Ziggler and Langston lose because Ziggler will cash in Money in the Bank in the near future and Team Hell No retains
- 2. Team Hell No finally implodes and Kane and D-Bry try to beat each other, Ziggler/Langston capitalize and win Tag Titles.
Winner and New Tag Champions: Dolph Ziggler and Big E Langston
Chris Jericho vs.
Really can’t say too much on this one because this will be Fandango’s in-ring debut. He’s looked like he has the strength, but we have to see what he can do with the lights on bright. Not to mention, he’s facing the “Best in the world at what he does,” in “Y2J, Chris Jericho. No easy task.
Winner (and I can’t believe I’m saying this): Fandango (I can’t see a new talent going under in his first match.)
6-Man Tag Team Match
Randy Orton, Sheamus and Big Show vs. The Shield (Roman Reigns, Dean Ambrose and Seth Rollins)
This match is gonna be fun to watch. The Shield bring a unique skill set of power, intensity and agility to the table and as we saw at TLC: Tables, Ladders and Chairs back in December, they can get the job done. Problem for them is, Orton and Sheamus have that skill set, and when you are 7 foot, 400+ like the Big Show is, you don’t really need a skill set, just a strong right hand.
Winners: Orton/Sheamus/Big Show (Giving The Shield their first defeat)
Ryback vs. Mark Henry
Whomever wins this match will have definitely earned that victory. This is like a Rock vs. a Hard Place. There’s no doubt in my mind that Mark Henry has the strength to go blow for blow with Ryback. He can definitely hit the “World’s Strongest Slam” on Ryback. But can he put Ryback down enough to hit the move?
World Heavyweight Championship
Alberto Del Rio (c) w/Ricardo Rodriguez vs. Jack Swagger w/Zeb Coulter
A lot of people think this may not live up to the hype. I am not one of those people, in fact, I think this match can steal the show on Sunday night. I personally love the character changes by both superstars, and I was skeptical on both at the beginning. The addition of the “Patriot Lock” has taken Swagger’s game to new heights, and gives him a response to Del Rio’s Cross Armbreaker. Keep in mind that Swagger still has that Gutwrench Powerbomb if he needs it. Odds are, he probably will if he is to win on Sunday.
Winner and STILL World Heavyweight Champion: Alberto Del Rio
No Holds Barred
Brock Lesnar w/Paul Heyman vs. Triple H w/Shawn Michaels
**If Triple H loses, he must retire.**
This will not be pretty, I wouldn’t be surprised if somebody (if not both) gets busted open in this match. There is so much hostility between these two. Triple H is some kind of ticked after this laundry list of things Lesnar has done over the last seven months:
- Broke Triple H’s arm twice
- Broke Shawn Michaels arm
- Assaulted Road Dogg and Billy Gunn
I’m sure I missed something, but you get my point. Lesnar has to be salivating at this moment, to put Triple H down, for good. Thing is, the King of Kings won’t go down without a fight.
Winner: Triple H (I can’t see Hunter retiring from wrestling that early)
CM Punk vs. Undertaker
Once again, the streak of the Deadman is on the line, but it maybe in grave danger. In all of the opponents that the Undertaker has faced at WrestleMania, he has never face anyone quite like CM Punk. The Best in the World has been on the absolute offensive for the last 4-5 weeks and has the Undertaker reeling. Never have we seen an entire Road to WrestleMania that the Undertaker has been the hunted and not the hunter. It is time…
Winner: CM Punk (Yes, the streak ends…)
WWE Championship: Twice in a Lifetime
The Rock (c) vs John Cena
I admit. I was one of the many in the IWC that didn’t want to see this headline two WrestleMania main events in a row. However, this brings a glorious opportunity…an opportunity to do what literally the MILLIONS (crowd chants and MILLIONS) of the IWC’s fans have been wanting since, I don’t know, 2009?! I think it happens in New Jersey on Sunday, April 7. Ladies and Gentlemen, I think that Cena finally drops this superhero shtick and turns heel!
Winner and STILL WWE Champion: The Rock
**Cena attacks The Rock after the match to further the heel turn.**
Ladies and Gentlemen of the IWC, that is how the 29th Annual WrestleMania will go down, and don’t let anyone tell you different. Disagree? Comment below or hit me up on Twitter, you can find me @jp_mediamvp! By the way, the official theme songs for WrestleMania 29 are “Coming Home” by Diddy Dirty Money featuring Skylar Grey and (the one I hope they use for the official intro) “Bones” by Young Guns! Enjoy WrestleMania everyone!!!
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